Happy Halloween

Halloween Comments


I'll be dressing Melanie up today. Pics to come later.

Compare

I've been meaning to do this for a long time, but I finally got Danny's pic scanned into my computer. I'm posting here for comparison. It's hard to say who she looks like. To some extent, all babies look the same.

I made one

Here is one that really is Mocha and Melanie! I need opinions. Is it even funny?

Smiles

I hope to get a picture of this soon. It makes it impossible not to love her... Melanie has a new habit. When I take her out of the bassinet in the morning, she gives me a big 'old grin. So adorable!! It's totally gonna melt Danny's heart.

Nope

A few people have asked if Danny is home because I've been quiet. No, but I'll let you know when he is. I've just been busy with Melanie. Sometimes we go out at her nap time so I don't get much "alone time".
I take pictures nearly everyday so Photobucket gets updated every few days. I just posted a few videos too. Here is one for you to check out.

Baby & Cat

Omg, this looks like Mocha and Melanie!

Sleep and Eat

I just fed Melanie and am waiting for her to go back to sleep, so this is a good time to post an update.
Things are going well here. The last two nights she has slept in her own room! After Danny left I got her to sleep in her bassinet again (she's been sleeping in her papasan chair). I got a sleep positioner that I ordered which works much better than rolled up blankets. Yesterday I put it in the bassinet section of the pack'n'play and put here there for her nap. She cries a little, but we're working on a system that seems to be successful. Last night and at 3am I put her back in there and she fell asleep without one little peep. Right now she has the hiccups and may not fall asleep, but it'll be fine. Anyway, I think both her and I are sleeping better at night. She was so tired yesterday she zonked out at about 730 last night.
Breastfeeding is going really well. It's still frustrating that she wants to eat every 1.5hr or so, but I'm getting used to it. At night I am pumping and bottle feeding her. It also seems to work well for both of us. The only downside is that nursing helps her fall asleep, but she has a pacifier that she loves.
Well, she is crying and awake now so I gotta calm her down, but another update will come soon.

One month

Happy one-month day, Melanie!

So tired

I'm guessing that even the smallest amount of caffeine does not agree with Melanie. I had half an iced mocha yesterday and she was awake until 1230am. She then woke up at 500 and was awake until 7. Then woke up again at 930. She is acting like she is continually hungry, but spits a lot of it back up.
THEN, Mocha pukes on the floor. I obviously cleaned it up, but my house is still a disgusting mess. Plus I have a huge pile of icky baby clothes.
I'm tired...

New Pictures

Here are some new pics. Check out photobucket for the rest.

We went to Yokosuka yesterday to work with the lactation consultant. There was some good work and it was pretty successful. I'm still working on getting her to latch correctly, but we've made progress. No more bottles, at least for now.
The nurse wanted to weigh Melanie before we left. She is now 2.16kg which is essentially 7lbs. Finally she's too long for preemie clothes. I had to go to the Exchange yesterday and buy her some newborn clothes though. When we go through 3-4 outfits today there isn't much left for her to wear!
Well, that is about as much time for an update as I have for now.

Holey Moley!

I woke up at about 530 this morning and just about jumped out of my skin. Melanie was still asleep! I freaked out a little before I remembered that she didn't go to sleep until nearly 11pm. I eventually went back to bed and went back to sleep. She was tossing and turning and making baby noises, but stayed asleep. She ended up sleeping until just after 8pm. She was asleep for 9 hours!! The growth spurt is starting to wind down and it is common for babies to sleep more after them, so this is probably a fluke. It will be a long time before I can sleep longer than 6 hours at a time.

So many ups and downs

We're doing a little better today. It is amazing what adequate sleep can do.
I called 3AOB last night and talked to the lactation consultant on duty. He gave me some tips and pointers. They particularly want to see me and help me, but that is difficult living in Negishi. For now I am trying to pump every two hours and get my supply back up. He gave me lots of information, but it was hard to get it all 'cause I was distracted. Melanie was being just a bit fussy, then Amy brought me dinner (banana pancakes - THANK YOU!!) and cleaned my kitchen floor. I had a cricket jumping around and drowned it in bug spray. That stuff is slippery and gross. So hard to get off the floor.
Anyway, today is starting out as one of those good days. Hopefully I can keep her full and happy today.

Thanks to everyone for the breastfeeding advice. I feel like I'm depriving her by bottle feeding rather than breast, even if it is still my milk. She enjoys breastfeeding a lot although she likes to pacify. I understand babies do that for comfort. We'll keep working on it. Hopefully I can get sleep and am more willing to do what I need to do to help her learn.

Breastfeeding is so hard!

Like I said, Melanie is going through a growth spurt right now. She CONSTANTLY wants to eat. Getting her to latch on has been difficult and she is a slow eater, except on the bottle where she inhales her milk. To make things worse, the nipple guard decreased my supply and I am finding it difficult to supply her desire to constantly eat.
I have tried to get help from my forum and the visiting nurse, but have got none. Esp the people on my forum talk to me like I'm dumb. No one seems to understand the struggle I'm going through and don't seem to accept there is more than one way to feed your baby. I've been trying to pump, but still am not getting enough and neither is she. It seems like people believe traditional breastfeeding is the only way and if you can't do that you're a failure.
I'd like to find someone who cared about me, listened to my problems, and would talk to me about all my options. I've resulted to mixing formula and milk to ensure she has enough. I'm doing the best I can and am afraid its just not enough. Melanie seems she would much rather nurse on me, but just doesn't work most the time. She wants to pacify and I just don't like it.
Honestly I feel like a huge failure. I made a mistake and am having a really hard time recovering from it. I am just really, really tired.

More pictures

I've added more pictures to the photobucket album. I try to take some every few days.
http://s132.photobucket.com/albums/q19/rainsongs/Melanie/

She's growing

Little bug is going through a growth spurt. Yesterday she wanted to eat constantly! I'm (we're) still having problems so I've gone back to pumping again. I'm tired of her using me as a human pacifier.
Despite her crankiness yesterday, we are doing really well. I don't know if it's the meds, sleep, or leveling out of hormones, I am a lot less cranky and more even tempered. Hope it stays this way.
Well, after the last post, I thought you'd all like to hear some good news.

Funny picture

Just wanted to post a quick one before heading to bed.
Caption...?

Very frustrated

Some of you may laugh at me, but I never imagined how difficult being a mother would be. It's even worse when you feel completely alone. Her cries are so frustrating, she eats constantly and I am so totally exhausted even when I get a full nights sleep. I dread her waking up 'cause that means I actually have to take care of her. There are so many theories about what I should and shouldn't be doing, but all I know is that anything is insanely difficult to do by yourself. She bathes every other night, I change her diaper and feed her, but I can't do much more than that. Keeping her entertained, giving her tummy time, working on what is a good sleep time, getting her to stop crying... all things that drive me crazy. I'm so exhausted that I just wish there was a time I didn't have to worry about her. Danny's only been gone a few days and wish he wouldn't have had to leave at all.
Well, I was hoping to get a quick nap, but I think she is waking up. Ugh. It never ends.
BTW, update on the appointment I had Tuesday... The doctor gave me a prescription for Zoloft, but I don't want to take it. I am still trying to decide and have a follow up appointment next Friday. I have a lot of conflicting feelings and different opinions from everyone. The hardest thing for me is Danny thinking I don't need it as I value his opinion the most. Of course he isn't here and not able to see how I handle things day to day.
I gotta go. Melanie is waking up and will want to eat.