Amazon and gift ideas

I am aware that I am too old for people to give me b-day presents (especially now that Melanie gets the cool stuff), but I just wanted to let everyone know that I have an Amazon.com wish list for things I want or things I want to get for Melanie. If you are looking for something to send to either of us, you can get some ideas there. Or just send an Amazon gift card. It kinda sucks to pay for shipping, but my selection is so small here that I thoroughly enjoy the modern conveniences of the internet.
Lori's wish list

I am starting to search for craft projects for Melanie's age. I've found some great Crayola products, but it's so hard to choose just a few. I should just send all my money to Crayola. :)

Trust your instincts

Just an interesting story for everyone.
Melanie, a friend and I went to lunch today. Since she is Japanese I ask her a lot (maybe too many) questions. When we were walking back to the bus stop I asked her about the security that stands on three of the street corners in the area. She told me that on the top floor of a building there is a place where people bet on motorcycle races. It is one of three forms of gambling legalized by the gov't. The men have a tendency to drink and get how people do when they've had too much. When they come out of the building, sometimes they 'cause trouble so the security is there to keep them out of the street or bothering others.
A few months ago I went to this building because there is a Daiso (¥100 store) inside. I felt uncomfortable about the security guard. The building was creepy inside and there were strange people standing outside the elevators. I didn't feel unsafe, just odd.
Now I know why. It's amazing what your feelings can tell you if you listen.

Typhoon and life

Yes, we're still here. I'll try to get better about posting. Life with a toddler is difficult.
A tropical storm passed over us this morning. It was nothing to get worked up over. It's beautiful outside now so we hope to enjoy it after Melanie's nap.
I'd say that nothing is going on, but Melanie changes everyday and it is impossible for me to keep up. Her most recent thing is walking everywhere. She can't be stopped! She is drinking milk now and big kid foods. Although she can't use a spoon yet, she likes to feed herself. Makes my job easier.
We're getting involved in more toddler groups. Went to a new one yesterday and it was great. I hope that we'll be able to go again. I made a new friend so I hope we'll be able to get together more.

Tropical Storm Krovanh

Like usual, the base is making a big deal about this. We're gonna get rain. Big deal!


Tracking Map

Feeling sentimental

Going through videos on photobucket. I found this one and it was so cute it made me cry.

She's Growing

The title reminded me that at her appointment she weighed 19.5 lbs. I love my little girl.
What I was really writing about was to say that I can see her changing. Today she went from sitting to standing without using anything to pull herself up. She has also started letting go of things. It's only a matter of time.
That is all. :)


Oh, yesterday she still wasn't feeling well. Seemed to have an upset stomach. Today has seemed better though. She's slowly starting to eat better.

97.7

Good morning!
Yup, that is her temperature this morning. It was a rough night, but we're bother feeling better this morning. She slept from 8-11, 1-4, and 4-9. I got almost 8 hrs of sleep!
What I ended up doing was giving her teething tablets, a very slight amount of benadryl, rubbed some baby vicks on her chest and set the fan right next to her bed. Of course we were up on the Tylenol/Ibuprofen and milk.
We both have little runny noses this morning, but she is crawling around the floor, playing and making happy baby noises. The swelling in my neck is going down.
I hope we're well enough tomorrow to go to the Noritake factory!

Dealing with a fever

Melanie still has it today. I haven't checked her in a few hours, but the temp has been between 99 and 100. It's an improvement from yesterday.
Early this morning, the pediatricians office called and asked when we'd like to schedule our follow-up. They got her in at 1030 so we made ANOTHER trip down there. Have I mentioned that I hate doing that 'cause its so far? Anyway, they couldn't find anything wrong with her, so the consensus is that she is at the beginning of a cold. I just have to keep an eye out for other symptoms. She is well medicated and well loved.
Anyone know some good tips to help an 11-month-old feel better besides using medication? There is only so much it can do. She is obviously still not feeling well.

Gonna be an interesting day

It started at 5am with an earthquake. Melanie was already stirring at that point, but didn't fully wake up until a little after 6. It was a late night last night, so we're both a little tired and cranky. I took her temp last night at 102.9. Besides that, she was fine. Generally Drs tell you to just give them Tylenol and wait to see if their temp goes down. Since it was 630pm and I didn't want to wait all night, so I just decided to go to Urgent Care in Yokosuka. After examining her and testing for a UTI, they said it was probably just the beginning of a cold. They sent us home with more Tylenol and some Ibuprofen. This morning, her temp is only 99.
I've been better, but a little more sleep would help. My lymph node is still swelling and a little uncomfortable.
It will probably rain all day. Still dealing with that TS.

The swing of things

We are ready to start another week. I am tired and so is Melanie. She went down pretty fast.
I don't know if I'm fighting off a cold, but my lymph node near my ear has been swollen. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm doing okay.
Melanie seems to be close to walking. She is getting pretty brave about letting go. Today she moved from the bath tub to the toilet. No real walking involved, but quite a stretch. I hope she can hold out a few more weeks.

In case you heard on the news, we did have an earthquake. It wasn't very strong although it lasted forever. Melanie slept through it. Mocha and Kaemon looked at me like "what are you doing?!" I finally got up and went to the doorway, but mostly to be close to the stairs in case I need to get to Melanie quickly. All is good.
Oh, and I cooked myself an almost home cooked meal today. Kudos to me!

My reflections on PPD

It's been a while since I've posted any updates. Although this is a rare occurrence, I'm gonna get serious about something. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows that I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression just after Melanie's 4 week check up. At that time, my in-laws had just left to go back to the states after visiting for a few weeks and Danny had just gone out to sea for a short deployment. The first few weeks of Melanie's life were pretty good for me. Although I'd had a c-section, my recovery was very fast. I was still in pain, but with help of my family I got a decent amount of sleep. Most days, I was even able to put on make-up. Something I didn't even do in the past.
When everyone left, I was very alone. More so then I'd ever have been in my life. I thought, having a baby, that at least I'd never be alone again. Someone would always be there. I thought I knew how to take care of a baby. Once I was alone, I was way over my head. I found myself crying a lot and feeling hopeless about the future. I couldn't sleep because anytime I was alone with my thoughts it felt like I would be stuck in a place where I felt helpless forever. I was overwhelmed, over-emotional, and hopeless. I truly believed that things would never get better. Before Melanie was born, people would offer their help, telling me that if I needed anything I should just ask. I am usually open about my feelings and honest about anything and everything, but asking for help was more than I could handle. Who wants to take on my problems? Nearly everyone around me had their own children, jobs, problems, lives. And here I was. I needed the help desperately, but I didn't have the strength or courage to ask.
Besides crying constantly, I was also lacking sleep, not eating much, and constantly angry. If Melanie didn't do what I wanted when I wanted it, I would scream. Sometimes even at her. It's very difficult for me to admit this. No one ever wants to say that they screamed at their helpless infant. I am very ashamed of this. Now, it is between me and God. I do what I can everyday to make up for the mistakes I've made in the past.
The only escape I ever had was leaving my house (which was a constant reminder that I felt like a complete failure) and going to Amy's. I'm sure at times I seemed desperate and overstayed my welcome, but it was the only thing that kept me sane. Amy understood my feelings more than I understood at the time. The thing that helped the most was when the pediatrician and my personal doctor recommended that I seek treatment. I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump right to medication to solve my problems, but when I had questions, I knew I could ask Amy. Sometimes, the questions were very personal, but she was honest with me. Eventually I decided to take the medication.
Although the initial change was nearly immediate (it takes about two weeks for the medication to reach full strength), I certainly wasn't 100%. I've been on the meds for 10 months now and I finally ALMOST feel where I want to be. Of course, I still have "days". Since the time I started, I've changed from 50mg/day to 100 mg/day. The first goal was just to be emotionally stable and be able to get out of bed in the morning. Now, I am able to notice the small things. Most days I lack the motivation and desire to do the things I need to do, like clean up the mess Melanie made at breakfast or even cook my own meals. I wasn't particularly motivated before I was a mother to do the things I didn't want to do, but it feels different now. I can tell when things aren't quite right.
Somedays, I just want to run away. I still get mad. I still cry. But not as often and I feel like I'm in control. The medication has helped me get over the initial hump, and then I have the strength to handle things on my own. I've learned Melanie and she has learned me. I don't have to get mad about things, I just go with the flow.
To sum things up, I want to make a statement to everyone. I know that because of time, money, distance, etc, many of you were not able to help me. I know you wanted to then and I know you still do now. The best advice I can give is just help people. If you know a new mother, whether it's her 1st or 10th child, she still needs help. Don't ask her if she needs help, just do it. She will never ask. Bring her a meal. Eat it with her. Let her talk about anything and everything. Clean her house. Watch her baby so she can sleep. Do anything that you know she can't muster the strength to do herself. Today in our society, mothers are expected to do everything alone, but if we help just one mother, then maybe it will continue to be paid forward.
Mothering duty calls me. Thanks for reading. I look forward to any comments.

Birthday Dress

I found this and love it. Anyone want to buy Melanie a birthday dress? :)




And, yes. I know it's been a long time since I posted anything. I'm posting now, aren't I?

New Melanie photos available on Photobucket

Back in Japan

Most everyone knew already, but Melanie are back in Japan. We went to Seatac Wednesday night for space available roll call. There were 40 seats available, so we had no trouble even though we were only a category IV. It was early Friday morning when we landed and Melanie slept the drive home, which means that I was exhausted by the time she had her next nap.
We're still adjusting to the time zone and being in our own house again. Oh, and the hot weather and high humidity. I put Melanie down for a nap last night at 530 and she slept until 3am. Not what I had planned, but at least she slept. It's 8am and I think she is due for her second nap of the day.
The animals are doing well. Mocha is my shadow and Kaemon seems to be happy to be inside more. Both of them did well while we were gone. I'm going to talk to the pet sitter this afternoon to see how things went.
Danny pulled into Sydney yesterday. Wish I could be there. I really want to be. For now, I just have to wait for a skype call. There hasn't been any email from him since yesterday and I'm trying as hard as I can to be patient.
Well, that's all for now. Thanks to everyone for the great time in the states. We had lots of fun and wish we could have stayed longer. We'll see you at Christmas!

Melanie at the Beach

She took her first trip to the beach a few weeks ago. Here is a short, edited video of her first time in the sand. There are more pictures of the trip on photobucket.

Changing email address

I am leaving Excite and for now going exclusively to gmail. I may open another account later (I like to have 2 for different purposes). If you want to reach me, email Lori.Kohlbeck@gmail.com.
Things are going well in the states. Melanie loves everyone and they love her. Lots of cute pictures have been uploaded to photobucket in the 8 month album!

Made it!

Sorry in the delay for anyone who didn't know, but Melanie and I made it to McChord AFB around midnight on Monday. The plane was a C-17 with a big truck filled with jet fuel, but I think it was better than flying commercial.
Anyway, we're glad to finally be here and catching up on our sleep.

Kanto Lodge

I'm staying here in Yokota tonight. My car is in long term parking (many thanks to Sierra) and we are ready to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to walk to the terminal. It's a quarter to midnight. Bleh. Tomorrow will be a long day, so I hope I actually get onto the flight. So far, things are working out well. I will post an update tomorrow. I also will be calling Dan and Tracy, so you may need to call them if you need details.
Well, goodnight everyone and I hope we see you soon.

Getting to Seattle

I'm still here in Japan. I was called up to the counter during roll call yesterday, but the guy said there was only one seat, so I obviously didn't take it. There were originally only 5 seats, but 12 ticket passengers didn't show up. I was at the top for category IV, but there was a family of 5 ahead of me, so it didn't take long until the seats were full.
I called the terminal today to ask about the flight to Elmendorf. I'd heard before that it would stay overnight in Anchorage and continue to McChord the next day, but apperently the one tomorrow is terminating in Alaska. As much as I'd love to see Alaska... I was told on the phone that there is a flight that leaves on Tuesday and goes straight to McChord. I will call tomorrow to find out the time of roll call an possibly try to make that one.
Either way, I'll try to update as much as possible.

We've decided... I think

Danny is going to take me to Yokota on Saturday. Melanie and I are going to try to get on the flight for this Saturday the 23rd. If it doesn't work out, we'll try again on the 30th. We'll be category IV so hopefully we'll have better luck than last summer.
I don't have details of the flight, but Danny will call if I make it onto the flight.
If anything changes or things don't work out for this week I'll let you know. Once I get to the states, I'll start planning my Vegas trip.