The Quest for Perfection

The job of a mother and homemaker is the hardest job in the world. I think I could switch roles with a CEO of any major corporation in the world and they'd be begging for their job back by the end of the day. Love for my little one makes it easier, but my perception of how things should be and what other moms think is something I battle everyday.

Moms today are expected to be perfect. Our children must be clean, well-behaved, well-educated, polite, and extremely healthy. It's all on mom's shoulders to get it right. Pressure on mom goes back to the beginning of time. In the 1000's of years humans have walked the earth the pressure has evolved from protecting your children from wild animals and diseases to social networking predators and processed foods.

The age of the internet had helped create a bond between mothers and much as it's ripped us apart. (Add to that, being 1000s of miles from your family and you have a recipe for disaster. Something I'd know nothing about...) The same moms that offer support in the hard times are also the ones that tote organic diets and "I completely potty trained my child in 24 hours!" Most of this mom attacking is unintentional, but women have a tendency to want to one up each other. We use our children to show how great we are. In my unprofessional opinion, moms that do this often are likely insecure about their own identity and "greatness". I'm not saying there is anything wrong with either of these examples, but there is a problem with bragging about it.

Every book, magazine or internet article I read reminds me of the places where I am failing my child. Let's forget she's loved, safe, and secure. In the eyes of the media, that means I'm smothering her and setting her up for failure later in life. Oh, and her favorite foods are chicken nuggets, macaroni & cheese, and apple juice. *gasp* They all have meat, dairy and are processed. And guess who is to blame for ruining her child's health? Yup, that would be mom. If the child grows up to be a crazed serial killer or politician, blame mom.

Every time I read something like this, all I can think about is how I am a failure. My family should eat more or less of this certain food. We should exercise more, watch less tv, so on and so on and so on. Each reminder chips away a little piece of my sanity. We are an average family. I am on my quest for perfection because I feel nothing I do is ever enough and no matter how many times I try, I will fail. I hate failure. I can't live up to my own standard or the ones I perceive others have for me. This kind of thinking slowly gnaws at your soul and it's hard to escape.

I'm not condoning it in any way, but no wonder moms go ballistic and drive their kids into a lake. The pressure to be perfect is absurd. Some of us are more sensitive to it, but I can't imagine there isn't a mom out there who hasn't worried that their child doesn't have the right friends, clothes, books, diet, education, parents, etc. I suppose we should be grateful that these are the worst things we have to worry about.

I am still fighting this battle. I know I'll never be perfect and my family never will be either. Knowing I'm not doing absolutely everything I can to make us all the best is hard to come to terms with. I don't have answers for my problems. All I can do is remind myself everyday that I am a good mom; not the best, not perfect, but not failing either.