Tracking Map
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Feeling sentimental
Going through videos on photobucket. I found this one and it was so cute it made me cry.
Friday, August 14, 2009
She's Growing
The title reminded me that at her appointment she weighed 19.5 lbs. I love my little girl.
What I was really writing about was to say that I can see her changing. Today she went from sitting to standing without using anything to pull herself up. She has also started letting go of things. It's only a matter of time.
That is all. :)
Oh, yesterday she still wasn't feeling well. Seemed to have an upset stomach. Today has seemed better though. She's slowly starting to eat better.
What I was really writing about was to say that I can see her changing. Today she went from sitting to standing without using anything to pull herself up. She has also started letting go of things. It's only a matter of time.
That is all. :)
Oh, yesterday she still wasn't feeling well. Seemed to have an upset stomach. Today has seemed better though. She's slowly starting to eat better.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
97.7
Good morning!
Yup, that is her temperature this morning. It was a rough night, but we're bother feeling better this morning. She slept from 8-11, 1-4, and 4-9. I got almost 8 hrs of sleep!
What I ended up doing was giving her teething tablets, a very slight amount of benadryl, rubbed some baby vicks on her chest and set the fan right next to her bed. Of course we were up on the Tylenol/Ibuprofen and milk.
We both have little runny noses this morning, but she is crawling around the floor, playing and making happy baby noises. The swelling in my neck is going down.
I hope we're well enough tomorrow to go to the Noritake factory!
Yup, that is her temperature this morning. It was a rough night, but we're bother feeling better this morning. She slept from 8-11, 1-4, and 4-9. I got almost 8 hrs of sleep!
What I ended up doing was giving her teething tablets, a very slight amount of benadryl, rubbed some baby vicks on her chest and set the fan right next to her bed. Of course we were up on the Tylenol/Ibuprofen and milk.
We both have little runny noses this morning, but she is crawling around the floor, playing and making happy baby noises. The swelling in my neck is going down.
I hope we're well enough tomorrow to go to the Noritake factory!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Dealing with a fever
Melanie still has it today. I haven't checked her in a few hours, but the temp has been between 99 and 100. It's an improvement from yesterday.
Early this morning, the pediatricians office called and asked when we'd like to schedule our follow-up. They got her in at 1030 so we made ANOTHER trip down there. Have I mentioned that I hate doing that 'cause its so far? Anyway, they couldn't find anything wrong with her, so the consensus is that she is at the beginning of a cold. I just have to keep an eye out for other symptoms. She is well medicated and well loved.
Anyone know some good tips to help an 11-month-old feel better besides using medication? There is only so much it can do. She is obviously still not feeling well.
Early this morning, the pediatricians office called and asked when we'd like to schedule our follow-up. They got her in at 1030 so we made ANOTHER trip down there. Have I mentioned that I hate doing that 'cause its so far? Anyway, they couldn't find anything wrong with her, so the consensus is that she is at the beginning of a cold. I just have to keep an eye out for other symptoms. She is well medicated and well loved.
Anyone know some good tips to help an 11-month-old feel better besides using medication? There is only so much it can do. She is obviously still not feeling well.
Gonna be an interesting day
It started at 5am with an earthquake. Melanie was already stirring at that point, but didn't fully wake up until a little after 6. It was a late night last night, so we're both a little tired and cranky. I took her temp last night at 102.9. Besides that, she was fine. Generally Drs tell you to just give them Tylenol and wait to see if their temp goes down. Since it was 630pm and I didn't want to wait all night, so I just decided to go to Urgent Care in Yokosuka. After examining her and testing for a UTI, they said it was probably just the beginning of a cold. They sent us home with more Tylenol and some Ibuprofen. This morning, her temp is only 99.
I've been better, but a little more sleep would help. My lymph node is still swelling and a little uncomfortable.
It will probably rain all day. Still dealing with that TS.
I've been better, but a little more sleep would help. My lymph node is still swelling and a little uncomfortable.
It will probably rain all day. Still dealing with that TS.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
The swing of things
We are ready to start another week. I am tired and so is Melanie. She went down pretty fast.
I don't know if I'm fighting off a cold, but my lymph node near my ear has been swollen. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm doing okay.
Melanie seems to be close to walking. She is getting pretty brave about letting go. Today she moved from the bath tub to the toilet. No real walking involved, but quite a stretch. I hope she can hold out a few more weeks.
In case you heard on the news, we did have an earthquake. It wasn't very strong although it lasted forever. Melanie slept through it. Mocha and Kaemon looked at me like "what are you doing?!" I finally got up and went to the doorway, but mostly to be close to the stairs in case I need to get to Melanie quickly. All is good.
Oh, and I cooked myself an almost home cooked meal today. Kudos to me!
I don't know if I'm fighting off a cold, but my lymph node near my ear has been swollen. It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm doing okay.
Melanie seems to be close to walking. She is getting pretty brave about letting go. Today she moved from the bath tub to the toilet. No real walking involved, but quite a stretch. I hope she can hold out a few more weeks.
In case you heard on the news, we did have an earthquake. It wasn't very strong although it lasted forever. Melanie slept through it. Mocha and Kaemon looked at me like "what are you doing?!" I finally got up and went to the doorway, but mostly to be close to the stairs in case I need to get to Melanie quickly. All is good.
Oh, and I cooked myself an almost home cooked meal today. Kudos to me!
Saturday, August 08, 2009
My reflections on PPD
It's been a while since I've posted any updates. Although this is a rare occurrence, I'm gonna get serious about something. Anyone who reads this blog on a regular basis knows that I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression just after Melanie's 4 week check up. At that time, my in-laws had just left to go back to the states after visiting for a few weeks and Danny had just gone out to sea for a short deployment. The first few weeks of Melanie's life were pretty good for me. Although I'd had a c-section, my recovery was very fast. I was still in pain, but with help of my family I got a decent amount of sleep. Most days, I was even able to put on make-up. Something I didn't even do in the past.
When everyone left, I was very alone. More so then I'd ever have been in my life. I thought, having a baby, that at least I'd never be alone again. Someone would always be there. I thought I knew how to take care of a baby. Once I was alone, I was way over my head. I found myself crying a lot and feeling hopeless about the future. I couldn't sleep because anytime I was alone with my thoughts it felt like I would be stuck in a place where I felt helpless forever. I was overwhelmed, over-emotional, and hopeless. I truly believed that things would never get better. Before Melanie was born, people would offer their help, telling me that if I needed anything I should just ask. I am usually open about my feelings and honest about anything and everything, but asking for help was more than I could handle. Who wants to take on my problems? Nearly everyone around me had their own children, jobs, problems, lives. And here I was. I needed the help desperately, but I didn't have the strength or courage to ask.
Besides crying constantly, I was also lacking sleep, not eating much, and constantly angry. If Melanie didn't do what I wanted when I wanted it, I would scream. Sometimes even at her. It's very difficult for me to admit this. No one ever wants to say that they screamed at their helpless infant. I am very ashamed of this. Now, it is between me and God. I do what I can everyday to make up for the mistakes I've made in the past.
The only escape I ever had was leaving my house (which was a constant reminder that I felt like a complete failure) and going to Amy's. I'm sure at times I seemed desperate and overstayed my welcome, but it was the only thing that kept me sane. Amy understood my feelings more than I understood at the time. The thing that helped the most was when the pediatrician and my personal doctor recommended that I seek treatment. I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump right to medication to solve my problems, but when I had questions, I knew I could ask Amy. Sometimes, the questions were very personal, but she was honest with me. Eventually I decided to take the medication.
Although the initial change was nearly immediate (it takes about two weeks for the medication to reach full strength), I certainly wasn't 100%. I've been on the meds for 10 months now and I finally ALMOST feel where I want to be. Of course, I still have "days". Since the time I started, I've changed from 50mg/day to 100 mg/day. The first goal was just to be emotionally stable and be able to get out of bed in the morning. Now, I am able to notice the small things. Most days I lack the motivation and desire to do the things I need to do, like clean up the mess Melanie made at breakfast or even cook my own meals. I wasn't particularly motivated before I was a mother to do the things I didn't want to do, but it feels different now. I can tell when things aren't quite right.
Somedays, I just want to run away. I still get mad. I still cry. But not as often and I feel like I'm in control. The medication has helped me get over the initial hump, and then I have the strength to handle things on my own. I've learned Melanie and she has learned me. I don't have to get mad about things, I just go with the flow.
To sum things up, I want to make a statement to everyone. I know that because of time, money, distance, etc, many of you were not able to help me. I know you wanted to then and I know you still do now. The best advice I can give is just help people. If you know a new mother, whether it's her 1st or 10th child, she still needs help. Don't ask her if she needs help, just do it. She will never ask. Bring her a meal. Eat it with her. Let her talk about anything and everything. Clean her house. Watch her baby so she can sleep. Do anything that you know she can't muster the strength to do herself. Today in our society, mothers are expected to do everything alone, but if we help just one mother, then maybe it will continue to be paid forward.
Mothering duty calls me. Thanks for reading. I look forward to any comments.
When everyone left, I was very alone. More so then I'd ever have been in my life. I thought, having a baby, that at least I'd never be alone again. Someone would always be there. I thought I knew how to take care of a baby. Once I was alone, I was way over my head. I found myself crying a lot and feeling hopeless about the future. I couldn't sleep because anytime I was alone with my thoughts it felt like I would be stuck in a place where I felt helpless forever. I was overwhelmed, over-emotional, and hopeless. I truly believed that things would never get better. Before Melanie was born, people would offer their help, telling me that if I needed anything I should just ask. I am usually open about my feelings and honest about anything and everything, but asking for help was more than I could handle. Who wants to take on my problems? Nearly everyone around me had their own children, jobs, problems, lives. And here I was. I needed the help desperately, but I didn't have the strength or courage to ask.
Besides crying constantly, I was also lacking sleep, not eating much, and constantly angry. If Melanie didn't do what I wanted when I wanted it, I would scream. Sometimes even at her. It's very difficult for me to admit this. No one ever wants to say that they screamed at their helpless infant. I am very ashamed of this. Now, it is between me and God. I do what I can everyday to make up for the mistakes I've made in the past.
The only escape I ever had was leaving my house (which was a constant reminder that I felt like a complete failure) and going to Amy's. I'm sure at times I seemed desperate and overstayed my welcome, but it was the only thing that kept me sane. Amy understood my feelings more than I understood at the time. The thing that helped the most was when the pediatrician and my personal doctor recommended that I seek treatment. I wasn't sure if I wanted to jump right to medication to solve my problems, but when I had questions, I knew I could ask Amy. Sometimes, the questions were very personal, but she was honest with me. Eventually I decided to take the medication.
Although the initial change was nearly immediate (it takes about two weeks for the medication to reach full strength), I certainly wasn't 100%. I've been on the meds for 10 months now and I finally ALMOST feel where I want to be. Of course, I still have "days". Since the time I started, I've changed from 50mg/day to 100 mg/day. The first goal was just to be emotionally stable and be able to get out of bed in the morning. Now, I am able to notice the small things. Most days I lack the motivation and desire to do the things I need to do, like clean up the mess Melanie made at breakfast or even cook my own meals. I wasn't particularly motivated before I was a mother to do the things I didn't want to do, but it feels different now. I can tell when things aren't quite right.
Somedays, I just want to run away. I still get mad. I still cry. But not as often and I feel like I'm in control. The medication has helped me get over the initial hump, and then I have the strength to handle things on my own. I've learned Melanie and she has learned me. I don't have to get mad about things, I just go with the flow.
To sum things up, I want to make a statement to everyone. I know that because of time, money, distance, etc, many of you were not able to help me. I know you wanted to then and I know you still do now. The best advice I can give is just help people. If you know a new mother, whether it's her 1st or 10th child, she still needs help. Don't ask her if she needs help, just do it. She will never ask. Bring her a meal. Eat it with her. Let her talk about anything and everything. Clean her house. Watch her baby so she can sleep. Do anything that you know she can't muster the strength to do herself. Today in our society, mothers are expected to do everything alone, but if we help just one mother, then maybe it will continue to be paid forward.
Mothering duty calls me. Thanks for reading. I look forward to any comments.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Birthday Dress
I found this and love it. Anyone want to buy Melanie a birthday dress? :)
And, yes. I know it's been a long time since I posted anything. I'm posting now, aren't I?
And, yes. I know it's been a long time since I posted anything. I'm posting now, aren't I?
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