I have tried to get help from my forum and the visiting nurse, but have got none. Esp the people on my forum talk to me like I'm dumb. No one seems to understand the struggle I'm going through and don't seem to accept there is more than one way to feed your baby. I've been trying to pump, but still am not getting enough and neither is she. It seems like people believe traditional breastfeeding is the only way and if you can't do that you're a failure.
I'd like to find someone who cared about me, listened to my problems, and would talk to me about all my options. I've resulted to mixing formula and milk to ensure she has enough. I'm doing the best I can and am afraid its just not enough. Melanie seems she would much rather nurse on me, but just doesn't work most the time. She wants to pacify and I just don't like it.
Honestly I feel like a huge failure. I made a mistake and am having a really hard time recovering from it. I am just really, really tired.
You are a good mother. I'm sure about it because I know you. You are doing your best. Melanie loves you. And I love you, too! :)
ReplyDeleteLori, I know how you are feeling. I had the same problems with breastfeeding Jenni. She wasn't getting enough to eat, I was exhausted and frustrated. Then I tried giving her a bottle (formula). We were both soooo much happier. And this is what parenting is about. You get to choose what works best for you and your family. If the same things worked for everyone there would be one instruction book that worked for everyone. Enjoy this time with Melanie. Don't add extra pressure that does not need to be there. There is enough stress in the world. Be good to yourself and your daughter.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Debbie Schultz
Lori, there's no way you're a failure. One of my problems with the le Leche League is their adamant belief that breast-feeding is the only way to go, and it should only be done via the breast, never a bottle. That simply does NOT work for everyone. Like Deb said, the important thing is to do what YOU feel is best for you and Melanie.
ReplyDeleteDanny was, for the most part, a bottle fed baby and still seems pretty healthy for it. Nurse when it's comfortable for you, give her a bottle of formula or breastmilk when you can't. You did NOT make a mistake, you made a beautiful baby girl. Never doubt that for a second.
Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and love that baby girl. And never, ever doubt, we love and believe in you too!
XXOOX
Mom/Tracy
Lori, one of the hardest parts of being a mother is coming to terms with your own choices. You are a fabulous mommy and you should never doubt that. Breast is only best when both mommy and baby enjoy the experience. Having had a c-section with Torryn, I can assure you that some of the problems you're having with production are because of the surgery. I had a terrible time nursing Torryn and eventually ended up supplementing and now that Torryn is 6 months old, she's completely bottle fed.
ReplyDeleteFormula-fed babies are just as loved and just as healthy. You are doing what's best for Melanie... You're ensuring she has enough to eat no matter what. That's what counts!
Lori,
ReplyDeleteYou are in no way a failure.
I, of course, will not attempt to give any advice on breast feeding except I am very sure it is hard and I am sure you are doing a fantastic job.
You have a great group looking over you and even though we all hate to hear that you are having a hard time we are glad that you feel safe to tell us your true feelings.
There is nothing wrong with bottle feed babies. Look in the mirror.
You turned out just wonderful and I have always been and will always proud of my "bottle feed baby".
Love you always and forever
G/D/L